I’ll just stay here a while…

While at my mom’s house yesterday, we put the triplets down for a nap on the floor of my mom’s bedroom.  Jaden came sneaking into the room.  My sister held her hand to her lips.  “Sshhh, the babies are sleeping.”  He army crawled over to them and said “I just want to give my brothers kissies”  Then he kissed each of them goodnight.

My mom told him he should go and play.  You know what my four-year old said?  “I think I’m going to stay here and make sure my babies don’t get sick and stop breathing again.  I don’t want another baby to die.”  Protective and insightful big brother.  One who protects and loves.  My heart broke and swelled at the same time.  If only I could protect my three living kids from the pain of Owen being gone.

Jaden sat in the bedroom, quietly watching over his little brothers for almost an hour.  I was half nervous that he was more in tune to something that might go wrong than I was.  The night Owen stopped breathing, Jaden was talking about his Great Grandpa and asking why God takes those we care about so much.  Could he see the angels that came for Owen?  When asked what do angels do, Jaden said “they help people die.”   Was he told his from someone?  Does he know more about angels because he’s open to the wonders of the world?

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again … I wish I could see the world through a child’s eyes.  It sounds beautiful!

Love, Mel


  1. That is so cute that he just wanted to watch his brothers sleep. He’s the big brother an he has to protect his little brothers. Kids are very smart they know more then we think.

  2. dear mel,
    at your darkest times, the little ones can bring a smile to your face ! God bless all !

  3. Oh my goodness. Sounds like Jaden was sent to your home because the Lord knew that you would need Jaden’s sweet comfort during this dark time. What an angel.

  4. Awwww…so sweet. I cannot wait to become Jaden’s father in law. All readers of this blog are invited, by the way. July 21st, 2031, @2pm. Mel’s paying!

  5. Oh Mel! What a great big brother! It goes to show what a great mommy you are to your boys! Thinking of you, Doug and your little men! And you are right…. To see the wild through childrens eyes! What a wonderful thing! 🙂

  6. Mel,
    after reading your last message,at first my heart was breaking for Jaden,wanting to stop another brother from passing, but i then thought how sweet that he would so quietly be protecting his brothers. In an earlier message to you, i mentioned that one of my four boys was born with a CHD. there is a wide range in age of our boys, the oldest now is 20 and our youngest is 4.After having our first son, we tried for 7 yrs to add to our family, many miscarriages later (9), we had our “heart” baby. Our boys shared a room. My husband and i talked many times about putting them in seperate rooms “just in case”. tho when we did, it didn’t matter. Our oldest would wake during the night, turn on his brothers light, roll him over, check to make sure he was breathing and roll him back. Your boys, all your boys will be strong boys now, and grow to be strong men. close,careing,compasionate and loving to eachother and to anyone who comes into their circle. Many times, you will FEEL the love from your Owen through your boys. They will grow knowing what a strong mom they have, how you support them “no matter what”. And they will lead by example, the example you and your husband have shown them. we continue to pray for you and your husband and all your boys. from one mom to another, i support you, care about you, and listen to every single word you say, and will continue to listen for as long as you want to share your feelings with all of us.

  7. I cried as I read your post today. I understand the feeling of not being able to protect your children the way you want to. I can’t begin to imagine the pain of losing a child, but I can only offer strength and courage. Sending positive vibes to you and your family.

  8. This may not be the right time, but sometime later I recommend the book “Heaven is for real” It really is an amazing book and your little Jaden seems very similar to the boy in the book. I continue to pray for you and your family.

  9. I’ve been following along your journey and sending prayers and thoughts of you and your boys’ your way for the past several weeks. Every post has touched a piece of my heart – especially this one.

    It’s a mystery. It really is. The unknown.

    The intuition. The connection. None of it we can truly identify or pinpoint. We just know it’s there.

  10. You can be glad that you have such a wonderful big Brother for your triplets.

    I find him cute and sad in one way, it is just amazing how he reacts.

    I just read your whole story and tomorrow I will wear my Orange dress.

    Please excuse my bad english.

    Greatings from Germany,

  11. Yea! I was wondering when you would change the color to orange. I love it!!!
    Still pray and think of you daily and love the story about Jaden “army” crawling over to his brothers. I can just picture that!

  12. wow, I felt so bad reading th epost. I hate that you all have to go threw this. Jaden is a very smart little boy and ofcourse Mel, its becuase of you and Doug. Its sad to hear him saying things like that, i know it has to be. god bless u and your family. its a wondeful thing jaden wants to protect his little brothers.

  13. Melissa: it makes me tear up, lump in throat and all, to see that you have changed the blog to orange. What a simple, priceless, mama-who-loves-her-baby-boy thing to do!

    I have one question, in the header at the top of each page with the b/w pics of the boys, which triplet is which??

  14. Yvonne
    I just got done reading that book Heaven is for real if you have time please read it you here about what Heaven is like from a three yr old boy
    I love the book so much I know i will read it agian i felt i got a look at what Heaven will be like
    i hope this helps i will keep you and your family in my pray if this book
    teis what heaven is like then your little Owen is in Gods arms as am write to you

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