We are having a blast at the lake house this summer! We are one week in and have just under a week left. We have done everything from swim in the pool, swim in the lake, bonfire, tubing, water skiing, cooking, walks, water balloons, naps in the sun, staying up all night with a crying Logan, enjoying some adult beverages, playing video games with Jaden …. anything I’m missing? Probably.
The babies have been a handful to say the least … up from midnight to 4am almost every night. Last night was the first night that Logan only got up once for a bottle then slept til around 6am.
There are times that I think “thank goodness we only have 2 babies … could you imagine three like this?” Disgusting. I didn’t serve to have triplets with thoughts like that. I deserve this pain, this loss. I didn’t deserve such a blessing if I can be thankful for it to be taken away. This thought invades my day, springs into my thoughts at the least expected time. I try to push it out … try not to believe it or let it take over. But it’s there … with it’s own time and strength.
I find joy in playing with Jaden, jumping into the pool. Logan loves the pool ans splashes and jumps. Weston? You put him in his floaty and he pretty falls asleep instantly. We’ve taken the babies swimming a few times, and every time Weston falls asleep almost immediately.
Pictures always say a thousand words … and I have a thousand photos! Here are a few of my favorites.
My sister, Rachael & I in a double tube …. Weston fits in the cooler!
Jaden had a friend out to the lake house … what good buddies!
Old man Logan
Jaden on the first day … yes the pool looks green. I promise you it was safe to swim in 🙂
Doug is trying to water ski on the back of this boat … but Jaden and Sarah sure look cute!
Had a play date at the lake house! I have Weston, Rachael has Logan and a good friend Moushira has her daughter Layla. Just so you know boys … she has already been promised to Logan … just in case you were wondering! Anyone notice the themed hats? Lighting McQueen and Tow Mater?
We wanted to get in on Logan’s canopy action too!
So last summer Jaden wouldn’t get in the pool … this year we have him jumping into the pool! He is getting so gosh darn big!
Doug and Logan took a little nap together. I love how Weston is holding onto Doug’s hand.
Jaden went fishing late one night … and he caught a fish! A catfish to be exact. When we had to throw him back he said “bye bye catfish, I’ll miss you” too funny!
My favorite part about this vacation is being with family. We are all living all over each other like we were at mom’s after Owen died. All under the same roof, eating meals together, helping out. I’ve laughed really hard. It’s been a great relaxation. I have a feeling it’s going to be over way too soon!
Love, Mel
Love the pic with weston in the cooler! I miss weekends like those ;( good old fun with no worries…enjoy your time, and if you get a chance have an “adult beverage” for me :o)
What a beautiful family you have! We were just stopping by and would love to keep in touch. My family just got back from our “lake” home. We laugh when we say that because we live on a lake…but we still travel to our lake home. =)
Beautiful blog and family!
Love all your photos. So cute. Glad your have a wonderful time.
Looks like you are enjoying yourselves, a much deserved vacation for you all. As far as your comment goes about the thoughts that invade your mind about how much easier it is with just the two at times over when it was three. Just because you have those thoughts does not mean that is the reason Owen was taken from you. I have those thoughts all the time. I think any parent of multiples has thoughts like that, “What if it were only one I’d have to be feeding, changing, getting in and out of the car, and so on.” Just because we think those things does not mean we don’t love our children. It does not mean you didn’t “love Owen enough”. I cannot imagine what your thoughts are like day in & day out though. I just wanted you to know, that those thoughts you just told about, are not yours alone. I remember also when we found out we “might be having twins, come back in three weeks to be sure it’s still two” praying for just one. Our son was only 15 months old, and I did not want twins newborns and a toddler. Was I devastated when we found out it was two still? Not at all and I wouldn’t change it now. I think about you & your family all the time!
Awe! How much fun you all must be having! I remember when my son was your triplets age he did the same thing, waking up at midnight and keeping me up with him until 4 am so he could slowly drain his bottle. I hope the rest of your vacation is just as wonderful for you and your family!
Rebecca S. in Colorado
Mel I am so happy you are having a good time. We all know that you love Owen very much and of course it would have been harder with the 3 but I know u still wish he was there with you all. The boys look absolutely adorable. I hope the rest of your days at the lake house go slow so it doesn’t have to end so soon. Thanks for sharing your pics of your beautiful family. Always thinking of you all. God bless!
Mel-love the pics!! Looks like you are having an awesome & relaxing time…you deserve every minute of it!! We all know you love Owen and if he was there, you’d find a way to make it work like you did before. I don’t have multiples, but I do have four kids…I admire people that do have multiples and how they are able to make everything work. When you’re a parent you find ways to make it work whether you have multiples or little ones that are close in age! Enjoy your vacation!!!
That looks like way too much fun. I’m glad you are enjoying yourselves. You deserve to get out and take a break. Whew…sometimes we all need a break from “life”.
You can do whatever you want but I, personally, don’t think you need to beat yourself up over those thoughts. Owen knows you love him. He knows you wouldn’t wish for him to be gone. But I also believe he is looking down on you thinking, “man…it’s a good thing I’m not there…those two are a HANDFUL!” He’s okay…you should cut yourself some slack. I don’t know how you do it with two, let alone the 6 months you did it with three. You’re a wonder woman.
Enjoy the rest of you VACATION!
P.S. I just got my OWENGE shirt in the mail. Can’t wait to wear it. I’ll be sure and take a pic (oh no…my camera is broken….crap…okay, when I get it fixed then…)
I read your post yesterday, and I cannot stop thinking about it. As moms, we tend to be hard on ourselves, because I think we know in our head what we could/should be capable of. I am a firm believer that you can and will handle whatever situation you are given. I think to myself, I could never handle having triplets, or I could never handle losing one of them, but “I” can’t handle it, only with the help of God. You cope and survive with what you have been given, we all do, and you keep going one day at a time. The adversary is very practiced at putting those thoughts into our head, doubts, concerns, punishment, but you are clearly an amazing mom, and I am so sorry that you are having to “handle” this right now. I pray for you and your little family, and hope you can feel His comfort.
Melissa – Love the themed hats. Where can I get them? So cute.
You do NOT deserve the pain or the loss. No No No. You have 4 children and two of them are babies! Yes, one of them is in heaven, but you are the mother of 4 and trying to currently juggle 3 kids (two still in diapers and on bottles and not sleeping through the night). You are still grieving. Cut yourself some slack. I have three kids as well (3YO triplets) and I know how much work it is. You’re juggling not just multiples but two different age groups as well. Please don’t ever say that again! I think those thoughts are normal… When I had just two babies home from the hospital and one hadn’t been released I remember thinking, two is really hard, how can I handle all 3? But God grants us the ability to do what we need to do. Whenever someone asks me how do I handle all 3 I say “I don’t have a choice” and when someone says “I couldn’t do that” I tell them “Yes, you can and you would.” The people who deserve the loss of a child are the people who say “I couldn’t do that, I’d slit my wrists” (actual phrase overheard by me and others). You are the sweetest person. You don’t deserve any bad things, Melissa!
Hey Mel, I’ve tried a few times to leave a message after reading your blogs, onething in particular jumps out at me each time its mentioned, its the times you say how would you manage with three babies, and then you say with thoughts like that, thats why you dont deserve three, can I say I dont think you are saying this because its what you truely want, you’re more than likely saying it because for one, you want in a way to make it ok that Owen isnt there to be looked after….although I believe he is with you, just not as he would have been had he not gone to heaven, so you can definately cope now, its hard to explain what I mean but I hope you understand, and also its natural as a loving Mother to not believe you are doing a great job as a Mother, and youare putting yourself down believeing you couldnt cope with Owen there too, but you know you could and would, especially after what you went through when you lost him, god wouldnt have to ask you twice if you wanted him back would he? Love to you Mel, you are an amazing Mother/person x