In a recent conversation with another mom, I was told that “Jaden cries too much.” Alright, moms of boys … why is it a bad thing that we have sensitive boys? I think boys in this day in age could cry a little more!
Is my kid sensitive? Absolutely. Does he need to work on keeping his emotions in check a little bit? Of course. He’s FIVE! Does it make it harder to play with him at times? I’m sure it does. But is that a justification to leave my son out? Is it ok for all the kids on the street to just up and leave to play at someone else’s house while leaving my kid behind?
My mama feathers are more than a little ruffled. I go into instant protection mode. (Jaden was welcomed into the house with a great big hug and two freezey pops. Exactly what my mom would have done. )
I need to open myself up to the other side or the other perspective.
One thing that my son does REALLY well is share. He would give anything he had to anyone. His allergy free food, his toys, gifts, you name it. At times he doesn’t want to take a turn, but over all, he shares everything with anyone.
He also really likes people. He will chat anyone’s ear off if they let him. Jabber Jaw Jaden. He’ll talk to kids his age, kids who are older than he is or adults. He goes around and gives his goodbye hugs and kisses without much asking. He says his please and thank you’s.
So what do we do with our sons who are sensitive? How do I embrace his personality and his emotions while still raising him in a way that “he’ll fit in.” How do I tell my son that it’s ok to cry at home but not at school … however if you were a girl, it would be ok for you to cry whenever. Ok maybe that’s not totally true, but it kind of feels like it at times.
I just don’t understand why crying is a bad thing. Maybe it’s because I wish I could cry more at times. Having dated my fair share of winners and losers … I think that the “good” ones were ok with their sensitivity. But, let’s be honest girls, who doesn’t love a ‘bad boy’? Can a guy be both? Rough and tough on the outside and sweet and sensitive on the outside? Or is this just a movie character we dream about?
How do I raise my boys to be the bad ass motorcycle guy in black leather who buys his girlfriend flowers and cries at his wedding? How do I set boundaries when at times I don’t know them myself?
I don’t keep my emotions in check, although I’ve gotten much better at it over the years. I still can’t cry when I want to and am a blubbering mess when I wish I could hold it together. I’m super sensitive and sentimental, but I have a redheaded temper. I have so much growing to do myself. How do I teach my son how to do it?
Parenting seems like an impossible task. Teaching your children the ways of the world when you don’t get it yourself. Lord help me …