I can’t believe the triplet’s birthday party has come and gone.  I spent most of Friday at my mom’s house getting ready … making food, hanging decorations … getting organized.  When I finally made it home (about 12:30 am) I settled into bed with my iPad to play a game of Family Feud (to wind down).  Then Weston started to cry … then Jaden started to cry.  I unplugged the iPad and headed to Jaden’s room, figuring he woke up and wanted to know where I was since I wasn’t home for bed time.  Then I heard the sound …. of him throwing up in bed.  Seriously?  I picked him up and carried him as fast as I could to the bathroom.  Just in time for him to throw up on the floor.  Great.  Then the screams from the triplets.  Both of them.  Even better.  In all of my planning for the party, having sick kids was not one of the options.  Fantastic.

Jaden pretty much went right back to sleep after I got him all cleaned up.  Doug had the babies.  I disinfected the floors.  After only an hour we were all back in bed.  I think that might be a record time!

That was the most stressful part of the whole party.  Seriously.  It went smoothly.  Kids were well-behaved.  The company was amazing and the food was tasty (thank you mom and Rae for doing most of the cooking).

It was hard to pick just a few photos of the party to share … so I picked a bunch.

I created a photo birthday banner.  I have taken photos of the babies at least once a month with the same stuffed animals so show how much they grow.  I have to say I like the first half of the banner much more than the second half.  Owen was in the first 6 photos.

The triplets received “Birthday Boy” shirts from a good friend of the family.  When I got Jaden dressed for the day, he asked me “why doesn’t my shirt say Happy Birthday to my babies?”  Ummm good question.  So I quick made an iron for his red shirt just in time for the party.  He doesn’t look really happy in the picture.  But in real life he was pretty excited to sport his birthday party shirt.

Smash cakes!  Dear friends of mine made the boy’s birthday cake.  They also brought the boys their very own cake to dig into.  I loved that there were three.  Owen got his first cake after all.

and the photo booth!!!  Not only was it just plain fun, but photo booths and the triplets are a fond memory.  Back in January/February Sarah, Rachael, Abby and I took the triplets to the mall.  We ended up in a photo booth and it was one of the funnest things I have ever done.  ever.  You bet your bottom that we reenacted the photo at the party.  No other words but it majorly sucked that Owen wasn’t there too.

Presenting the cake!!  I’m not kidding, it was better than our wedding cake.  Just sayin’  It was the triplet’s colors.  It had owls.  One layer was pumpkin.  I know it’s stupid … but I felt like it was such a tribute to the triplets.  The cake screamed that there are three babies turning one today.  It celebrated my three boys … It was perfect.  Thank you so much Anne, Mandy and Jessica!  Seriously … angels.  I’m going to keep looking for your wings 🙂

I was inspired by Pinterest … but here is my attempt at a dessert table.  (The candies were the triplet’s colors too!)

Gift opening was a bit nuts … but all the kids had lots of fun!

Nothing better than a bucket on your head!

Gift opening is not gift opening unless tissue paper is thrown.

Logan trying out his new car seat from Grandma.

Here is the party waiting for the babies to taste their first cake!

Weston loved the cake.  He just kept shoveling it in … laid back in his chair, eating himself into a sugar coma.

The “damage.”  I don’t know what I really feel when I look at this photo … do I feel sad and angry that Owen wasn’t there to eat his cake?  Or do I feel a sense of comfort that he was there.  Maybe it’s the color orange.  Or it’s the third of something that gives me comfort.  Whichever it is, Owen was there.  I know it.

The boys got a bath in the sink.

What party is complete without a pinata???  Meet Mr. Owl.

Jaden had his game face on … he didn’t pull the string that released the candy.

But Andy did!

Then, maybe my favorite part of the party.  We took everyone out to the park behind my parent’s house.  There we listened to Owen’s Song in the quiet and darkness.  Each family lit an orange lantern and sent their birthday wishes to Owen in heaven.  Doug and I went first … Doug took off his shirt to show off his warrior tattoo.  We both felt such a feeling of pride that we were blessed to have Owen as our son.  God gave him to us …. we were chosen to be his parents.  Owen.  We love you.

Everyone took turns lighting theirs off … one by one they went up into the sky.

Here is a picture of Owen’s godparents, my brother and sister, hugging after sending off their gift to Owen.

Everyone just stood and watched each lantern float away.  They were mesmerizing … I watched each one until I couldn’t see them anymore.  I hope Owen get them.

At the end of the night, the boys were zonked out.  I think they take after me … party animals!

So all this worry and stress.  It all worked out.  I think part of it had to do with me “letting go and letting God.”  From my past experiences, when I give up my control and try to just go with it …. it’s so much better.  Why can’t I just remember that from the start?

I’m so thankful to my friends and family that made the party amazing.  I’m amazed more and more by how humanity comes together and makes something beautiful out of something tragic.   I would do anything to have him back.  The hole in my heart will never be filled.  I still have flash backs.  I still go back to the moments when I held him after his surgery … empty.  I want so badly to go back to those moments and hold him again.  Those thoughts are interrupting and still take the wind right out of me.

Today is just a good day.  Only a day.  I don’t know what tomorrow will bring.  I might fall to my knees in tears before the night is over.  For now though, I’m going to enjoy the good.  I’m going to celebrate my three boys here on earth.

Someone said to remember that I can’t only wear orange.  I corrected this individual (who I know had good intentions) … but yes I can  because I can only hug/kiss Logan and Weston.  It’s only fair that I do something only for Owen.  It’s not that I love him more than the boys still with me.  I just love him different.  I can’t give him constant hugs and kisses like I can with Logan and Weston.  So I remember and love him uniquely.  Not because I want to, but because I have to.  I’m the mother to a warrior after all …

Love, Mel