One thing that I’ve always struggled with is having people accept me. I wanted to be cool enough for the “in”table. I wanted to wear the right clothes so the popular girls would like me. In fact, looking back I lost some amazing friends because I was so focused on being “liked” by the wrong people.
What has this taught me in the long run? Who the heck am I to judge? Who am I to say that what you are doing is wrong? I look to scripture for answers. But what do I do when I can’t find the answer there? I’m not the one that makes the decisions on what is right or wrong. When you’ve done something wrong, I’m not the one to tell you how to make it right. I believe that my job is to love my neighbor as myself. I believe that we are all apart of the same body and when we hurt each other we hurt ourselves. We are all God’s children. All apart of the same race … humanity. Who am I to say that I can judge your mistakes. I look in the mirror and am reminded of all the mistakes I’ve made in my own life.
So when someone asks me “what should I do?” I sometimes have trouble answering that. Are you following your heart? Is following your heart wrong? Are you listening to your Jimmie Cricket? Can you sleep at night? If you are happy, is it costing you something? What is it costing others? Is it worth it?
Another part of my fear on sharing my real thoughts on other’s actions is that root fear of being accepted. If I share that I disagree with them, will they no longer want to talk to me about it? Will they choose not to seek my advice? If they don’t like what I have to say are they really a friend at all? Am I willing to take the risk to find out what kind of friend they really are.
I’ll tell you that some friends are worth the risk. I’ve lost a few along the way … probably more than I’ve kept when I’ve confessed my real opinion on their choices. But I promise you this … it’s not my place to judge. I can share my humble opinion because I love you … As a true friend, my job is to love you. Love you enough to tell you the truth, even then you don’t want to hear it. Love you enough to love you through the pain.
I want to be a ‘good’ friend. I pray for strength and wisdom. I pray to find the right words at the right time. I sincerely care and love my friends. I’m not sure if they all really know this or not. I suppose they do now (if they are reading this). But honestly, I really love my friends.