Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about how I am the only girl in our house … we have a 5 year old boy, two 1 year old boys, an angel boy and a husband. I am soooo out numbered.
When I was pregnant with the triplets, I was convinced at least one of them was a girl. The question was just how many. Jaden was so determined and excited to have a baby sister. He didn’t want brothers. I just felt so confident that there was a mix in there.
It didn’t seem real during the ultrasound that they were all boys. If I’m going to be honest, I shed a few tears. Not because I was upset to have all three boys. I cried because I was never going to have that special mother/daughter relationship that I now have with my mom. I wanted to know what if felt like from the mother perspective.
But here I am. God knows best, right? I’m starting to agree on the boy/girl question. First, if I had a daughter, I would have no money. It would all be spent on her wardrobe of tutus, slippers and fun bows/flower hats. Most of my friends who were pregnant around the same time as I was have girls. I just love spoiling them 🙂 The best part is that I won’t have to handle their emotional teenage years. I just get to the fun “aunt.”
Second, I am finding that the mother/son relationship is far more special than I could have ever imagined. The words “I love you mom” melt my heart. When Jaden buys me a small hair brush from his dollar store trip with Grandma, it makes my heart smile. When the babies wrap their pudgy arms around my neck in a hug I am in awe of the depth of pride I can feel.
I can’t remember if I shared this thought on the blog or not … so I’m going to again. With all of my prayers about having all boys and how did this fit into my life story, I began to understand just how important my job as a boy’s mom was. I have 3 (4) boys to raise to be the most amazing men who will one day take care of someone else’s daughter. I have the job of teaching them to respect, honor and praise women. My job is still about the daughters, just in a different way.
I take my job as mom seriously. I so badly want to teach my boys that emotions are ok. The answer isn’t (always) to hit. That gifts and thoughtfulness are necessarily in a romantic relationship. I want to raise my boys to be loving, christian men. My end goal is to raise boys who will be amazing husbands some day.
Seems like I’ve got my work cut out of me … first I think I need to focus on how not to throw your food on the floor during meal times 🙂
Love, Mel
Your post resonates with me. I love my boys so much, and while I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the universe, I’m having a hard time figuring out things like “Why am I holding on to the dress I wore for my first birthday?” and “Who will inherit and love my Madame Alexanders and Cabbage Patch Kids?”. While we have mused with adopting our 4th, there’s no guarantee of us ever having a daughter. Oh, well. Maybe my boys will give me a ton of granddaughters!
I too am surrounded with boys and I too grieved the fact that I shall never have a mother/daughter bond. I don’t have it with my mom and I wanted to have that with a daughter. But you’ve said it right on about raising our boys to be the best little men that they can be to other’s daughters out there.
My oldest is 7 and he all ready says ladies first 🙂 I hope to raise them to love and respect their wives and to respect all women. I hope to raise them to have enough self respect also to never settle or to let a mean women rule them. All I really want for my boys is for them to love and be loved equally and respectfully.
Boys are special in so many ways! I am a mom to 2 boys and 1 7 ear old girl. My ex has custody of her but i LOVED spoiling her and still do. But there is something about the mother son bond that seems to need more emotion then the mother daughter. It feels like my daughter and i have a link as women but my sons. Need to be shown and taught more about love and showing emotion.
I have an odd question did you do fertility treatment? IF you could email me i have a few questions that are kind of personal. thanks! althnmore@gmail.com
I’ve been reading your blog since my neice Sarah, first sent it to me. My little boy is now 42 and I’m proud of the man and father he’s become. It really shows in the way he interacts with his daughter. Granted, he had a sister to watch over, but when I watch his face as he sees her dance in the Nutcracker for the 4th or 5th time, I know I did a good job. He has a little boy,too, but it’s funny watching him deal with girl drama. His relationship with his son is just as good albeit different. Your journey has been inspiring and makes everyone who reads it realize it’s time to count your blessings TODAY! Much love to you and your boys!
As a mama of four boys (5 with my husband) all I have to say to this is ditto…and amen! You are awesome!
I feel the same way! I’m the mother to twin boys, and my husband (I feel like his mother, too!) I shed a few tears at the ultrasound, grieving the mother/daughter bond that I will never have with a daughter of my own.
If you can figure out how to keep the boys from throwing food on the floor, please let me know! That’s our biggest challenge right now!
Moms and their sons definitely have a very special relationship!!!! I long to have that relationship with my boy, but it’ll have to wait til I see him again!!!
Praying for you daily!!!!
I have a 13 month old son and while I was pregnant, I always secretly wanted a little girl (I too am in LOVE with tutus!), but now that I have my little man, I couldn’t imagine my life without my son. He is the sweetest boy I know and I hope to raise him to be the best husband any woman could ever hope for 🙂
I have 4 boys also and had always hoped 1 of them would have been a girl. Sometimes the boys can get pretty emotional too, but not to the extreme of the girls.
The bond is great and I feel I have a big responsiblity to raise these boys right.
Good luck!
Mel, I know that you will do a great job raising all of your boys, your a wonderful mother. God bless you and your family
I can also totally relate-I have 4 boys as well and had wanted a girl with each (not that I want 4 girls, but 1 would have been nice). With both the last two I cried when I found out they were boys because I had wanted a little girl so bad. I have a very good mother/daughter relationship with my mom and I desperately wanted the same thing with my own daughter. I wouldn’t give my boys up for anything-I love them to pieces! I guess I just have to wait and hope that one of them can give me grand-daughter to spoil some day in the distant future!
Your post really tugged my heart this week. I too am a mom of all boys, 3 of them. I was old 2 of my boys where girls, prepared for girls and shed more than a few tears when they came out boys. Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to be a mommy, a mommy to girls. I grieved the fact that I will never be a mom to a little girl. I love my boys with all my heart. I joke with them that I am raising them to be good husband’s and to make me lots of granddaughters, after they are 25 of course. You are so right that the mother/son relationship is much more special than I had thought it would be. I am proud to be a mom of only boys.
Mel, I work with your mom- in- law. LUCKY me. NO really LUCKY me!!! Ha!Ha! Anyway I also am the only girl in my house. I have two little fart machines grandchildren Cameron he’s 8, Connor he’s 6, My two boys Fart machine number one Anthony 23 the future looks like he’s going to be a stay at home and leach off the Mom & Dad kind of guy. Fart machine number two Michael 20, after taking a semester off he heads to LaCrosse. I know how you feel. Oh I forgot the hubby, Mark 52 Big Daddy fart machine of all.
Melissa,
I am the mommy of 3 boys (4 and 2 @ 2.5). We didn’t find out the gender with any of them. Even the twins…crazy. I too, wanted a girl. I thought for sure that the promise of twins meant one girl…no dice! I love my relationship with each of them and I love how they like what I like. I will say I do long for some frill and pink but I wouldn’t trade one day of talking about their ‘nether’ regions, they’re kisses, they’re BAZILLION questions, etc!
MOMS OF ALL BOYS ROCK!! 🙂
Loved reading this! Just found out on Monday that #3 is a boy! I kept saying it was another boy. We have a 5 yr old and a 2 an a half yr old. I love my boys with all my heart and wouldn’t change anything either. It didn’t really hit me until the next day, when I realized this is our last one and. I too shed some tears. Then I felt guilty, for God has blessed me with 3 healthy babies! Thank you again, I really enjoyed reading this and also hope to raise 3 amazing young men!
Thanks for reading Staci! Good luck with all your boys!! I know our house is getting crazier and crazier!!