Funny how much you can love and be totally annoyed by the same person at the same time! I’ve found myself in a constant annoyed state. I just want it to be quiet. I just want it to be calm. I’d like to do my “thing.” Yet, everyone I live with seems to need me … all at the same time. Babies are throwing shoes down the basement stairs, climbing on tables, pulling each other’s hair. Doug is asking me 12 million questions in the first 3 minutes of being home. Jaden is upset because one of the babies is running away with his DS. The soup on the stove is boiling over. I have completely lost control of my home.
I love my family so much. I would do anything for them but I just want to find a mute button. Do they sell one of those at Target? I’ll put it on my grocery list. Maybe I’ll even find a coupon for one. Double bonus.
Life is so brief. It’s so short. Whether you live to be 6 months or 90 years old, I don’t think there is enough time to do everything I want. There will never be enough time to read all the books I want to read. Crochet as many hats in as many colors as I’d like. Learn to sew … not just hem a pair of pants, but really sew. I’ll never have time (or the money) to see all the corners of the world. I’ll never have enough time to watch my kids grow. Do more for my church. Meet enough people. Hear enough stories. Eat enough chocolate. There just isn’t enough time. How I wish I didn’t need sleep … I could do so much more with my short time on earth.
How do I choose what to focus on? What is the most important? How do you pick?
I just feel on edge and like I can’t get to everything. I would like a pause button for everything going on around me so I can catch up. Just pause the babies eating breakfast so I have more time to update the church website while I enjoy another cup of coffee. I don’t want to miss out on the time I have with my babies … I just want more time for other stuff. Again … where is the button for that?
I know that these are the years of sacrifice. Carpe Diem and all that jazz. I know that this too shall pass. When the kids go to school there will be more time. But will it be enough time? I just feel like it will never be enough time for me. Life in itself is just too short.