Mom vs Dad

So I caught this nasty bug … Really sore throat, head congestion … Quite frankly I feel like crap. Doug offered to come home early on Friday and I felt more guilty being sick than him taking a half day of vacation to watch the boys for me. So I braved it… Until Logan puked at the table when having his afternoon snack. I then called him begging him to come home early. Of course by the time he got home I had already given both boys a nap and cleaned up the mess at the kitchen table.

Why is it that moms don’t really get a break when they are sick? I found myself folding laundry still … I made dinner tonight. Not really because Doug asked me to… I could have turned around and went right back to bed, but I just couldn’t. It’s like the mom gene or something. I still need to take care of my kids.

Why don’t dads have this gene? I remember the night before Christmas Eve Doug spent the entire day in the bedroom trying to kick whatever bug had gotten him sick. I just can’t sit still that long. I think of all the other things that need to get done. The grapes that need to be washed and put in the fridge. The hats I could be crocheting. The books I could be reading to be a better person. The list goes on.

I really enjoy knowing the “why” behind things. Why does the sun set? Why do people make the decisions they do? Why does love hurt? But this one just boggles me. I can’t wrap my head around why men and women are so different. Why moms and dads love their children so differently. Is it biological? Environmental? Both?

From the start Doug and I are two very different people. The best comparison I love to give is that Doug is excel and I am photoshop. He is straight lines, right angles and organized. I am free flowing, artistic and carefree. So from the start we are different. But from the stories I hear from my friends and Supermoms, these differences are the same for them. Men and women are just different. Moms and dads parent differently.

It must be part of God’s great plan. Each of us has a role in the family structure. I just wish I could understand the why behind it better. Opposites attract, right?

I am attracted to Doug because he is my opposite. I think, in a lot of ways, he challenges me to be a better person. He brings structure to my life. At times, it’s too much. It can be uncomfortable. But we each serve our purpose. We each have something valuable to give to our family.

I’m hoping i can kick this bug before Doug has to go back to work on Monday. Taking care of babies when feeling like this is no fun at all! Not to mention, I don’t want to get them sick too! I just can’t help but love them and kiss them when they are near!

Love, Mel


  1. The “mothering” gene you mention… is something I wish I had, but sometimes when I try and help out in that way, I end up doing more harm than good 🙁 Alas, I will try and try again.
    Get well soon!

  2. Oh Mel,

    I coulda sworn I was writing this one. I feel the same exact way and the questioning why of things is so much how I am. I always need an answer in order to better deal with things or handle things a bit different and lately I have been in the exact same boat as you…sick with little ones to care for! I made a comment the other day; “moms shouldn’t be allowed to get sick”….we just shouldn’t, with all there is for us to do; it just shouln’t be allowed! You are right though; there must be a reason why we “mothers with that gene” are here and why the men in our lives are they way they are as well; if you find that answer….let me know and I’ll do the same. I think that we all have our purpose and if it weren’t for the men in our lives working outside the home; us SAHMS would be working too! So maybe we can view it that way; we get the loving interaction of our little ones to help us cope with the illness while the men need “alone…sleep it off time”. Heck, we couldn’t lay for hours on someone has to, LOL! I do hope that you are feeling better soon and that the boys don’t get what is going around. Have you ever tried the Netipot for the head congestion…..disgusting yes, but it works wonders! Also try pineapple juice to relieve the congestion and head pressure…that’s another one that I have learned works incredibly well! Big hugs to you momma!

  3. We’ve talked about this before mel. It’s just so hard to understand why men don’t have the same common sense that women have. It took a long time for me to realize that when Eric does something his way he isn’t doing it wrong he’s just doing it different.

  4. I just wrote a post called Husbands and Housework, and now that I read this, I remembered the TOTAL inequity when it comes to sick time. I want to recant all my nice words, lol! Just kidding. You have a great way of looking at this issue.

  5. I really think it’s a man vs woman thing-we’re programmed to be the caretakers of all even if we’re sick. Both my husband and I work full time outside the house, but if one of the kids gets sick I’m always the one expected to stay home with them. If I get sick I’m still expected to do laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, oh and keeping the kids home with me instead of him taking them to daycare! However, when the shoe is on the other foot…he lays around sleeping all day and asking me to get him this or that because he’s SO SICK and can’t lift a finger and can’t take care of the kids. I think it’s totally normal to keep doing what we’re used to doing no matter how we feel. I hope you’re feeling better!!!

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