I crochet – almost every night. I find the yarn to be therapeutic. Beautiful things come from just a ball of yarn and a hook. It helps me feel productive – gives me something to do with my hands while settling in for the night.
I crochet for two reasons.
It allows me the time to get lost in my thoughts – to quiet out the rest of the world and talk with myself. My hands move rhythmically looping the yarn and pulling it through. They know the pattern that I don’t need to look down. I can focus on the pattern and let my brain unwind. I review the day – what went well, what didn’t, what I’m worried about. I’m not Catholic, but maybe my yarn is like a rosary. I pray while my hands are busy at work.
The second reason I crochet, is actually the complete opposite. I crochet to drown out the worries and fear and pain that are screaming inside. Those moments when I can’t quiet down my thoughts … I can’t calm my heart enough to find the words for my prayers. I crochet to distract myself from listening to the war going on inside. I crochet to focus my energy somewhere positive rather than spin out of control. During these times I focus on the stitches – 1 single crochet, 1 double crochet, 1 single crochet 1 double crochet.
It’s taken me years to find something that would calm me down when life is spinning out of control. It’s changed over the years too. What worked for me five years ago doesn’t work for me now. I’ve had to stay in tune with my heart – I had to be willing to try something new. I had to show myself patience and grace. And I had to have faith that something would work.
What calms your soul? What do you do at night when you are trying to relax?