The Fight

Sometimes life knocks you on your ass. Sometimes you find yourself flat on your back, unable to get up and wondering how the hell you got there. It’s ok to lay there … but only for a while. Don’t get stuck there. Don’t let yourself believe that you deserve it or that you can’t get up on your own. You have to fight like hell for yourself. You have to fight to claim your life back. It’s absolutely ok to be miserable, defeated and sad. It’s ok to be angry. But DO NOT let yourself stay there forever. There is so much more to life. And you are strong enough to claim yourself back.

I don’t care what you’ve done … you are lovable and forgiven. I don’t care if you’ve disrespected yourself or your parents. If you’ve cheated or hurt a loved one. If you’ve broken a promise or told a lie. You are forgiven and you are loved. Period. I know this before even knowing you …

You’ve got to put on your ninja warrior pants and fight to get yourself back – to find your happiness again. Do not be defeated by circumstance. I don’t care what you have done, or how bad it is … you are ALWAYS worth fighting for.

Sometimes we think we know what we need. Sometimes we feel like we just need to get away from life and hide – crawl into your little hole and forget about the world rushing around us. Busy yourself with other things so you don’t have to face the real war going on in your heart. Sure that might be helpful in the short term, but sooner or later you’re going to have to come out. You are going to have to face yourself in a mirror.

Someone recently asked me how I kept my faith strong during Owen’s death. I didn’t know how to answer the question at the time but I’m pretty sure it’s because I let people into my life. I gave people permission to carry my burden with me. I didn’t always want the company, but I allowed people sit with me in the quiet. It showed me that I wasn’t alone. I didn’t have to fight back for my life all on my own. There were people who loved me, who wanted to help, who would carry my heavy load with me.

Because they carried part of my load, I had the energy left to forgive myself. All of my healing has started with first forgiving myself. Whether it was my anger, my ignorance, the actions I took … I had to let it all go. I couldn’t change the past, but I had a canvas in front of me ready to be painted. Did I want my past to darken my masterpiece? Or did I want a new beginning?

I desperately wanted a new beginning. I wanted all the yucky to just go away. Every obstacle was not overcame without the following:

  1. Fighting hard
  2. Accepting the help of others
  3. Forgiving myself
  4. Prayer

It also takes practice. Consider running. You start with saying “I want to run.” Until one day you begin to say “I am a runner.” Consider this …

  • I want to make things right … I am forgiven
  • I want to be happy … happiness is a decision I make
  • I wish people accepted me for me … I am who I am and that’s ok
  • I’m sad … I am sad today, but tomorrow is a brand new day

Fight for your happiness … don’t let depression win. It’s not easy the first time you climb your way out of the pit. Let others help you. God leads people into your life to help you out … take their hand. Sometimes you don’t recognize them until you are feeling better. Other times, they are the ones knocking on your door … let them in. We were meant to live in community. Man was not meant to live alone.

I’m am thankful for the angels in my life. I am grateful for friends who have carried me along the way. Friends who know my soul are precious to me. But they didn’t learn about me without me letting them in. No matter how hurt you are know that not everyone will hurt you. Be vulnerable. Be perceptive. Be you … and fight like hell. You are worth it!

Love, Mel


  1. Beautifully written Mel. So very powerful. U are a beautiful person inside and out. Keep fighting for what u want and need!

  2. These are words I needed to here today. 17 months ago dcfs gave me my 2 beautiful nieces! Told me I’d adopt them. I love them with all my heart! Two weeks ago today dcfs came in no explanation no reason and took them to a foster home. I’ve been devastated have cried and been sunk into a depression. I have tried to fight but who can afford a 5k lawyer to help these days? I started a fundraising site but it won’t reach enough in time. But after reading this I’m going to stand up accept my broken heart finish packing there things. And keep fighting! Keep pushing my fundraiser tell the last minute! Thank u Mel! My prayers are with you always. Your an example to us all…!

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