It’s Valentine’s Day … single awareness day. A day where everyone is either bragging about how wonderful their husband or boyfriend is or the day when people feel painfully alone. It’s my first Valentine’s Day as a divorced, single mom. I’ve been too busy getting the boys ready with their valentine’s to really worry about being alone this year. Jaden is my date for the night. We’ve had fun all week making valentine’s for their friends – picking out the perfect sticker for each friend and stuffing little ziplock bags with candy. Boys loved it and I loved sitting on the floors watching my boys be kind to others.
The other day I clicked on a link to an online article “5 Ways To Survive Love Season.” Seems a little stilly to think about love being something you need to survive. But all the same, I remembered the longing I would feel as a young girl, hoping that a boy would think of ME on Valentine’s Day. Fingers crossed that someone would find me desirable and worthy of a box of chocolates or maybe even roses.
Then I got to #3 on the list … Who Can I Bless? That’s right … who do I find worthy of chocolates? Who is it that I love? Why do girls find in necessary to sit around waiting for a boy to love them? Why isn’t it enough to just love yourself? I’m not saying to forget about your crush … honestly who can get them out of your head sometimes, but rather, don’t forget them, remember them .. just don’t wait around for them. As my mom likes to remind me, “If it’s meant to be, it will be.” I’m trying on my mom’s advise for size … you should join me.
The action of love rarely has anything to do with what it is you want … it’s about the other person. Sitting around waiting for someone else to love you is not the purpose of today. I’ll tell you what … Prince Charming isn’t going to show up and say, “Wow, look at that girl having a giant pity party for herself … that’s who I want to be my princess!” Nope, just not gonna happen. It’s when you are being the best YOU that you can be that people notice you. They say things like, “Look at her go! She’s strong and independent. She’s loving. She’s got faith and strength to fight all on her own.” You don’t even realize what others are saying because you are focused on being the best you that you can be. You can walk boldly through life, knowing that God is your companion and that the rest will fall into place. Those are the kinds of girls that Prince Charming notices. Relationships are the healthiest when two whole people come together … not when one person is looking to complete themselves with someone else.
So pick yourself up. Dust yourself off and get out there and bless someone. We spend a month or two focused on this during the Christmas season. That season is all about loving and serving others. We ring a bell for Salvation Army, donate an extra toy to Toys for Tots. We adopt a family for Christmas. In turn, we feel good about ourselves. Giving our love is what really feels good …
Of course what girl wouldn’t want to be showered with flowers, poems, teddy bears and all that pink fluffy crap along with the rest of the dating/married population?!? I can’t help that I’m a hopeless romantic … Just don’t let that be what this day is really about. The world’s supply on loving one another is running low … So if you have a valentine, love them up. Hug them and kiss them and cherish the snot out of them. If you don’t have a valentine … don’t sit around waiting for one … get out there and love someone or some cause or something! If nothing else, it’ll keep you out of the cookie dough (at least for one day).
Very well written Mel. Wishing many blessings on you and the boys. Your former neighbor from across the street on Lilac.