Tomorrow is a big day … the triplets are getting their tonsils out. I’ve known this day was coming for quite a while … their tonsils are so huge that they are actually impeding their speech. I’m quite glad they are getting them out – I remember how wonderful it was when I got mine out at the age of 21. I wish I had gotten mine out a lot sooner!

I was rock solid about the whole thing until today at about 11:30 a.m. I started to piece together what tomorrow would be like. We would walk into the same hospital that we said goodbye to Owen in. We would kiss our babies goodbye as the doctors took Logan and Weston to the same OR where Owen’s heart, liver and kidneys were removed. I picture the recovery room – where Doug and I were escorted to a small room off to the side, where we would hold and kiss our baby boy for the last time. Then I remember how his cheeks were pale and cool to the touch – like we had been out for a walk on a crisp fall day. I can still feel his cool cheeks on my lips.

My mind just went crazy, remembering all kinds of things that 1. I haven’t thought of in sooooo long and 2. weren’t really helpful in preparing for tomorrow. I’m taken off guard on how quickly these memories come to the surface. I mean, things have been good for a really long time and then BAM the memories and pain in my chest all come back. I attempted to fend off the thoughts as I tried to focus in a meeting and while I tried to get bulletins done for worship while I’m out of work – brushing the slow tears that formed in the corner of my eyes away and taking in a deep breath as my heart skips a beat. Gosh – it’s crazy how the mind can just take over.

The boys are ready … we’ve been talking about it a lot. A typical conversation goes like this:

Me: Boys, are you ready for your surgery?

Weston: Yeah – these balls in the back of my mouth are going to get out when we go to see the doctor.

Logan: Daddy has the balls in his mouth out.

Me: Yes, that’s right! Mommy has her tonsils out too. When we get to the hospital they are going to give you a funny gown to wear.

Logan: Mama, I keep my underwear on?

Me: Yes, Logan, you can keep your underwear on. Then, you’ll go to sleep and when you wake up, you’ll have a sore throat.

Weston: ME NO WANT TO HAVE A SORE THROAT! I reaaaaally no wanna go Mama.

Me: It’ll be OK bud. How many popsicles do you get to have for breakfast?

Weston and Logan (looking confused): Popsicles no breakfast food mama. We eat pancakes for breakfast.

Me: But when you have your tonsils out you can have a popsicle for breakfast … or 5 or 6 or 12!

Weston: I like popsicles. I eat Popsicle for breakfast and no go to the doctor?

Smart kid … always thinkin’.

They’ll be fine … most likely clung to me over the next few days but just fine. I’ve cleared my schedule – gotten caught up on most of my chores so I can just focus on them. I’ve got my brother and sister lined up to spend extra time with Jaden. It’s gonna be good – hard – but good.

I’ve got their bags packed – favorite blanket, baby pandas (they have matching stuffed animals), favorite movie and their LeapPads. All I have to do is give them some jello for an early breakfast and get to Children’s Hospital on time 🙂

If you think of it, could you send a prayer our way tomorrow? One for Logan at around Noon and one for Weston around 1 p.m.? You have been such prayer warriors for my family in the past, I feel bad asking for more … but prayers are free right? And hey, I’ll make you a deal .. you pray for my kids and I’ll pray for your kids any time! Just drop me a note and I’d be honored to pray for your little life’s treasures!

Love,

Mel