If we haven’t been through enough. The apnea test needed a certain number difference on his CO2 levels. Want to know what it came back at? THREE points short of being able to legally declare him brain dead. Honestly?
So we were faced with a choice. We could repeat the test in a few hours or we could stop treatment. If we stopped treatment we would have to pull his tubes and wait for him to go. If we let his heart stop, he would only be able to make a tissue donation. Because of his age, that only includes his heart valves. He would be minimized to the same donation a pig can make. This isn’t good enough for our little warrior.
Do we wait for another apnea test and risk his heart stopping on it’s own? Or do we let it go and only have his heart valve to give? We fight on!
Who knew that when we selected names .. Owen would be so fitting. It means Little Warrior.
Our sadness turns into a fight .. A burning deep within to find a way to make some good of this. We prayed for a miracle and we are getting many. Liver, kidney, lungs, heart, donations to the Children’s Miracle Network from those who heard our story on the radio. Then multiply that out to the other sick kids who will feel the warmth from the Children’s Miracle Network?
How messed up is it that we have to jump through hoops to do something good? The longer we wait the more he deteriorates and the more chance of his organs will be gone beyond donation. We asked what we could do … He must live on.
There is another test. A flow study. They inject radioactive fluid into his brain and study it to see if there is any blood flow to his brain. It was the fastest way we could get a legal statement. So we fight on.
He’s having the test right now.
My prayer has changed and I feel guilty. I pray that we get a brain dead statement so we can move on. So we can continue in the hope of others. Many others. This is a bigger miracle than we could have prayed for. We asked for one and the Lord gave us many.
Tonight we go home to sleep. We could stay … but by going home, we can make an impact … an impact on our boys. Staying here with machines doesn’t give any value. The first baby step back into the world. We will come back tomorrow morning for his surgery and to hold him one last time. The donation center said they can give us updates as the surgery is going on. So we’ll get updates as to what is viable as it’s happening.
Perhaps a family who will get a donation from Owen is reading this. If you are, we already love you. Your baby has many great things to do in life. Know that they will have a little warrior in them.
Love, Mel